Grace is Gone (2007)

A tear jerking story of dealing with the death and loss of a loved one, Grace is Gone is all the more impactful for its realistic simplicity and raw authenticity of emotions. Stanley Phillips, the military husband of Sergeant Grace Phillips, is faced with the sudden news of his wife's death during combat. Unable to break the news to his two daughters, Heidi and Dawn, that their mother is gone and that they will never see her again, he grasps at the opportunity to delay the news by taking his daughters on a road trip to the theme park, The Enchanted Gardens. 

In this blog, I will address the five stages of grief according to the Kubler-Ross model that was displayed in this movie. It is however important to note that the five stages are not necessarily experienced by everybody in that particular order, and there are some who do not experience every stage of this model.

Denial

After receiving news of his wife's death, Stanley is seen to be nervous as his daughters return home, knowing that he would have to break the news to them. However, they brought back with them a casserole left on their doorstep, presumably from a well wisher sending their condolences and Stanley became adamant, angry even, when he insists for the girls to not eat the casserole. Probably to him, eating the casserole would signify that Grace is truly gone and that he has accepted the fact as well as accepted the sympathy of others. 

Additionally, taking his daughters away on a road trip could also be seen as an attempt to escape the truth and keep his daughters in blissful ignorance. When his brother receives a phone call and learns of Grace's death, Stanley once again tries to escape the situation by taking his daughters and leaving immediately.

Anger 

This stage of grief was mostly displayed by Stanley towards his younger brother, John during his visit to his mother's home. Although it is obvious that the two brothers have had political disagreements for a long time, Stanley finally snaps at his brother who unknowingly and unintentionally undermined the system and in result,undermine the sacrifices Grace makes to keep their country safe. Stanley probably attempts to find comfort in Grace's death by knowing that she died for a good and honourable cause, and having that idea challenged by John invokes anger in Stanley. A little while later, Stanley becomes aggressive with his brother, shoving him and pinning him to the wall, while yelling that John's opinion on Stanley's decision of keeping the news of the death of Heidi's and Dawn's mother away from them.

Bargaining

In Stanley's final phone call to "Grace", Stanley expresses his frustrations in being the one to stay at home and raise their daughters while she fights for the country. While not explicitly stated, Stanley's wish that their situations were reversed, that he was the one in battle while she stayed at home, could be seen as a way of bargaining- that if he went, he would be the one killed in combat while she remained alive and safe.

Depression 

Keeping his emotions in check throughout most of the film and even putting on a happy, cheerful facade, Stanley finally gives in to his grief when alone. Though not crippling depression, this display of mourning is comforting for the audience to see because we are aware that giving in to one's feeling of grief and sorrow is necessary before someone can accept their loss and move on.

Acceptance

With his last call to Grace, he finally addresses that he needs to tell Heidi and Dawn of their mother's death, displaying that he has accepted her death and is ready to do what is necessary as a grieving husband and father.

Throughout the majority of the film, Stanley was the only one who knew of Grace's death, and so the model of grieve could only mostly be applied to him. However, when he finally tells his daughters the truth, we immediately see Heidi is in denial by saying words like, "She is just hurt" and "It's alright. We will take care of her" and initially tries to push away her father from embracing her. I found her denial intriguing as she seemed to have been suspicious of her father's behaviour throughout the film and had even seemed to have her own period of grieving after hearing her father's voice call to her mother. It may be possible that she was aware of the possibility of her mother's death but chose to deny it for as long as possible to prevent dealing with the reality and the hurt that would follow.

Watching the ocean and the sunset, the Philips spend the time to grieve the loss of Grace, finding comfort in one another. I find it bitter sweet that with the loss of Grace, the relationship and bond between a father and his two daughters were strengthened. Stanley Philips is now a different man than who he was at the beginning of the film. Strict, stubborn and stiff, his daughters were unable to converse with him lightly, especially Heidi who was facing personal issues such as insomnia. It was comforting to see how the girls gradually became more open with him, and even being unafraid to ask to get their ears pierced despite the rule set by their father of only being allowed to get their ears pierced after the age of thirteen. We know that the Philip family will move past their grief and continue to seek comfort in each other as well as grow closer together, thus allowing us to move past Grace's death as well.